Taking Control: How to Work with Your Therapist on Your Triggers with EMDR Therapy

We all have them – those moments that instantly send us spiraling. These are our triggers, and they can range from a quick passing emotional snake bite, to longer lasting, overwhelming, emotional storms. While identifying our triggers is a crucial first step, the real work often lies in understanding, managing, and desensitizing them. And that's where your therapist becomes an invaluable partner.

Therapy provides a safe and structured space to explore these sensitive areas. Every client  and trigger is different, and there is no one way to approach every trigger. A good therapist has many tools in their tool belt, such as teaching CBT skills, mindfulness techniques, and coping skills. A skilled EMDR therapist can even help desensitize triggers by identifying and treating the “target” experiences that caused the trigger to begin with. 

Here is an example of what the therapeutic process might look like… 

1. Identify and Communicate Your Triggers:

This might seem obvious, but it's the foundation. Be open and honest with your therapist about what sets you off. This could include specific phrases, types of interactions, environments, or even times of year. The more details you can provide, the better your therapist can understand the context and impact of these triggers.

 * How to do this: Keep a journal between sessions to note down when you feel triggered and what the circumstances were. Bring this information to your appointments. Don't be afraid to share even seemingly "small" things – they can often be part of a larger pattern.

2. Develop Coping Strategies Together:

Once you and your therapist have a better understanding of your triggers, you can start to develop strategies for managing them. This might involve:

 - Identifying early warning signs: Learning to recognize the subtle cues that precede a full-blown triggered response.

 - Grounding techniques: Practicing exercises to bring you back to the present moment when you feel overwhelmed.

 - Cognitive restructuring: Challenging and reframing negative thoughts that arise when triggered.

 - Communication skills: Learning assertive ways to express your needs and boundaries in triggering situations.

* How to do this: Discuss what has worked (or hasn't worked) for you in the past. Practice these strategies both in and outside of therapy.

3. Explore the "Why" Behind the Trigger:

Simply knowing what triggers you isn't always enough. Therapy can help you delve deeper into why these specific things have such a strong effect. Often, triggers are linked to past experiences, unmet needs, or core beliefs about yourself and the world.

 * How to do this: Be willing to explore the emotions that arise when you're triggered. Your therapist might ask questions like, "What does this remind you of?" or "What thoughts go through your mind in that moment?" This exploration can uncover underlying patterns and connections. If during this process it is uncovered that the trigger is clearly linked to a traumatic experience, EMDR therapy would be a good therapeutic treatment.

4. Process Triggering Experiences in a Safe Space:

Sometimes, talking through a recent triggering event in therapy can be incredibly helpful. Your therapist can provide a supportive environment to process the emotions that came up, analyze your reactions, and identify opportunities for applying your coping strategies.

If the trigger is clearly linked to a traumatic experience from your past, processing the experience with EMDR therapy can be much more effective than talk therapy. Trauma is often "stored" differently in the brain and body. This involves "fragmented" memory, effects on the nervous system, and unwelcome feelings in the body. Exploring these experiences with your therapist can help determine if EMDR would be appropriate.

 * How to do this: Don't hesitate to bring up recent triggering experiences in your sessions. Your therapist can help you unpack what happened without judgment. Also, ask questions about your therapist's training and experience with EMDR therapy. (It requires special training, and a lot of experience to be certified. If your therapist can not do EMDR, you can still receive "supplemental" EMDR and keep your current therapist.)

5. Be Patient and Compassionate with Yourself:

Working through triggers is a journey, not a destination. There will be times when you feel like you're making progress and other times when you might feel setbacks. Be patient with yourself and remember that your therapist is there to support you through the ups and downs.

 * How to do this: Acknowledge your efforts and celebrate small victories. Talk to your therapist about any feelings of frustration or discouragement you might be experiencing.

Your therapist is a guide and a resource in navigating the often-complex landscape of your emotional responses. By actively engaging in the process of identifying, understanding, and managing your triggers together, you can gain greater control and have a more peaceful and empowered life.

EMDR Therapy can help desensitize triggers.